please stay in the oven for twelve more weeks, Jenna

Hi all. I have some rather shocking news, for those of you who aren't aware, which I imagine is everyone: My friend Jenny from the home ward, who was due April 10th to my April 5th, had her baby at 24 weeks, on December 19th. Baby boy Preston was 1 lb., 1 oz., but has steadily been fighting for his life and continues to hang on. He goes for surgery pretty soon to close his PDA (the opening that should close after birth). Please keep them in your prayers.

Anyway, aside from worrying about them, it also makes me worry a little that I could have Jenna prematurely. You just never know. Last night, before I even knew about any of this, I had really sharp pains in my side that radiated inward...so painful that it made me cry out several times. It wasn't in the right place to be labor, or so we think, but it worried us enough to get some things together right then in case we had to go to the hospital. Luckily, the pains went away after a few really intense minutes, but I was scared that they would return, so I didn't move for a while. It made me think, am I ready to be a mom right now? I don't know if anyone is at this point, or even when in actual labor. It's a sobering thought. I just hope and pray that I can handle anything that comes my way, and that things will work out the way they're supposed to, which I know they will. Anyway, Jenna was very good to her mommy, and reassured me that she was fine after I had those pains. She kicked and moved a lot just to let me know that she was okay, which I was very grateful for. Pregnancy and labor is such an unknown that sometimes you feel as if you're constantly questioning, is that labor? what does that pain mean? is the baby ok? Etc, etc. It's just a big unknown, and you try to be as prepared as possible, but there are always things that catch you off guard. It's like learning Spanish in school, and then going on a mission where you're speaking to native speakers...you realize you don't know ANYTHING!! Reading about pregnancy and labor is good, and it does help, but experiencing these things first-hand is totally different, and you always question if things are going the way they're supposed to, and what the ultimate experience will actually be like for you personally, since everyone is different.

Sorry to ramble, but babies and all that comes with them are just really on my mind right now. My cousin Pam just had her baby yesterday, Sylvia. Congrats go out to them; I hope that they're doing wonderful. I was at Enrichment Meeting last night, and in walked a juzzum that had just had her baby boy TWO DAYS BEFORE!! I know it was her second baby, but GEEZ. I wouldn't have been there, that's all I'm sayin'. I'd be like, I just passed a bowling ball, can someone make me some dinner, thanks.

On a related note, someone who shall remain nameless was discussing screaming during labor (this was a couple of days ago) and thought that doing that was just horrible and unnecessary (my own words). And I thought to myself, you know what, the person that she is referring to did not have any support people (at least in terms of family, husband) around her, she was in a great deal of pain and frightened...I don't fault her at all for letting out a loud scream. I don't judge anyone based on how they perform/performed during labor, I say BRAVO for going through that, and I think you're wonderful and will be blessed for that sacrifice. My two cents.

I will now end this baby mama drama post (thank you, Eminem)